The Unconventional Path: Unmarried @35

Embracing self discovery in a world of norm.

A hundred times question?

At 35, I often find myself on the receiving end of the inevitable question: “Why aren't you married yet?” it's a question that comes from well-meaning family members, friends and sometimes even complete strangers. And while the question may seem innocent enough, it highlight a deeper societal expectation a traditional timeline that many believe everyone should follow.

In a society there's a prescribed order to life: grow up get an education, find a job, settle down, get married and have kids, deviation from this timeline seems to invite unsolicited advice, concern or even judgement but life doesn't always follow a neat predetermined path and thats where the contradiction lies for me.

THE PRESSURE TO CONFORM

The societal narrative is clear by 35 and when you don’t meet these milestones, people start asking questions, not necessarily out of malice, but out of a deep seated cultural programing that this is the “normal” path for many marriage is seen as a marker of success, stability and maturity and if you're not that path, the assumption is that something must be missing or wrong.

While I respect these traditional milestones and recognize the value they hold I also know that they don't define my worth or happiness, my journey doesn't have to mirror society's expectations to be meaningful or successful.

Embracing Individuality

The truth is, marriage is a deeply personal decision, for me it not about finding someone to tick a box or fulfill a timeline, it's about finding a relationship that feels right, built on a mutual respect, understanding and shared values and that like everything in life takes time.

While out of the matrix I keep looking for that outlier while prioritizing other aspects of my life, like my personal growth and passions that aligns with my ideal self and that doesn't mean marriage is off the hook.

REDEFINING SUCCESS

Success isn't about ticking off boxes on a timeline, it's about living life that feels authentic and fulfilling for me, that means embracing where I am right now - married or not and trusting that my journey is unfolding exactly as it should.

It's not about rejecting traditional entirely but about finding a balance between honoring societal values and following your own unique path.

In a world that often celebrate conformity, choosing to live according to your own values can feel like a rebellion, but it's a rebellion worth embracing because true purpose and happiness comes not from meeting external expectations but from living a life that feels meaningful to you - “Would you rather be at war with yourself and at peace with the world or at peace with yourself and at war with the world”!? ~ Nipsey Hussle

CONCLUSION

So why am I not yet married at 35? the simplest answer is because I'm waiting for the right reasons, personality and moment, my journey doesn't have to fit neatly into society's timeline and neither does yours.

We are all on our own unique path just as heavenly bodies follows unique path while obeying the same laws and there's lies the beauty in it. The contradiction we face aren't obstacles - they're opportunities to define our lives on our own terms.

Recommended Read ~ Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell